One day, out of the blue, when I went to her house, she announced that she didn't want to be my friend any more. I was too fat. I was devastated but I left her house and stayed away from her. Some time later, she came to me and informed me that she had decided to be my friend again. I happily accepted, much to the angry disapproval of my mother (my mother held a grudge even better than I do).
Very recently, someone who was very important to me made the decision that we would no longer be friends. It hurt unbearably. I flashed back to the other times of betrayal and abandonment. Turns out that those abandonment issues that I've dealt with for my entire life aren't unfounded, huh?
Here is the thing, though...I can't judge other people on how I'd react and behave. It's time for me to let go of those resentments and expectations for what "the world should have given me." There is no "should" and life doesn't "give" us anything. We don't get what we deserve. We get what we manifest.
But I'm really hurt. It's gonna take me some time to get to than place of zen.
