For 2016, I want to practice being positive. It’s as foreign to me as speaking Swahili. I’m a negative person by nature. As a matter of fact, my lifelong mantra has been as follows, “If you never expect good things, you never get disappointed. If you expect the worst, sometimes you are pleasantly surprised.” My therapist points out that this is faulty thinking. It presumes that there are only two extremes and no in-betweens. Life is a full spectrum—from wonderful to tragic;exhilarating to boring; fantastic to unremarkable. To fully appreciate the joy, I suppose you must also experience the sorrow.
Over the last several weeks,
I have made an attempt to be more positive and upbeat (on Facebook, at least). I have found that posting passive-aggressive
or angry statuses, graphics, etc. breeds more discontent. In other words, it doesn’t help me “get it
out of my system” to post those types of things. It feeds the beast and makes it worse. So, I’ve been concentrating on uplifting
quotes and the like. The funny thing
(ironic, not ha-ha) is that the mad, sad, angry posts get MANY more likes and
comments than do the happy, upbeat, hopeful ones. I’m sure that a large part of that is the
nature of Facebook—people like drama. I,
myself, like a bit of it as well. :)
So, what do I (or a very
general “we,” if you like) need to become or remain positive in a world
where there is constant upheaval, hatefulness, and dissatisfaction? I present to you my thoughts on the broad
answers to that question (in no particular order):
SPIRITUAL CONNECTION
I’m not
a very religious person but I am very spiritual. I abhor most structured religion for the
hypocrisy that runs rampant within its confines. I tend to look at spirituality allegorically. For me, it’s not about hard and fast rules so
much as it is about that still small voice that I hear in my heart and mind
that guides me towards right and wrong. There
is great good and great evil in this world, no doubt, but most of us never
reach the outer limits of either (although I could point you in the direction
of some folks I think are getting close to the latter). In my opinion, you need some type of spiritual connection in life, whether it be a higher power, Mother Earth, etc.
GRATITUDE
Despite the pity
parties I throw for myself, I know I am blessed. I have a warm place to sleep, food to eat,
interwebs, a pretty good mind, and good health. I’ve got it pretty good, and certainly much better
than I have had in the past.
FAMILY AND FRIENDS
For when
you’re down and need a boost (or a shoulder to cry on) or when you want to
share a laugh or triumph. I think I hit
the lottery with mine but I could be biased.
GOALS
I don’t do well with
goals. If I set them and don’t reach
them I feel like a complete failure and it usually spirals down from there. But
if you don’t have a goal then you don’t have a marker by which to judge
progress.
FORGIVENESS
Here is my BIG PROBLEM. While I do try to forgive, it’s never a relief of that burden (for that’s exactly what it is if you CAN’T let it go) because I can’t FORGET. I jokingly say that I still remember things that happened in first grade. It’s not a very funny joke, however, because few of the things I remember are good. To not forgive is to allow a person or incident to live “rent free” in your head. To hold a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die. Remember the lesson but forgive the transgression. I suspect we ALL need some work on this one. It will be my biggest challenge to becoming a more positive and content person.
Thoughts? Additions? Deletions?
#faf
